A Ghazal
–
When will we get the amount of snow
the amount we used to receive?
she loves to eat those famous zesty
nachos from Denny’s
Oh, cheesy loaded yum, yum, yum!
would you like some ice cream?
we’ll never see those times again
or shall we?
Jenny.
This week I chose to remain working on my blog post. I feel the end of this week all 15 will be completely so I can start the editing process in March.
Once I get the blogs out of the way I will spend my March piecing together the different social aspects of the projects. I will spend time on the blog post page editing and figuring out the graphics. I will then move on to editing the videos I have to cut out any dead time with the children’s videos to really show the things they are developing while they are in their at home learning environment through tech.
Not really much to update this week as I will share the work in class this evening.
Not much updates before class tonight only that I have wrote two vignettes during our little class break. Excited to go back to class tonight for more feedback and guidance. I do think however I still have a bit of time to squeeze in two more vignettes but we will see how lucky and far I get. I will say though, I am excited to start the editing process soon, in a weird way. I think that will also inspire a few more vignettes that I can hopefully squeeze in.
I hate that my heart’s grown numb to You. And maybe the fact that I even can hate means my heart is not quite as numb as I think it is. Perhaps this perceived lack of feeling isn’t quite something to be so dramatic about as I can still feel hate for the gratitude and things I seem not to feel. But if I feel that hate and little to no love for what this condition may mean, then is my heart healthy or sick? Is it possibly both? How could that be possible? It’s not. So it’s either one or the other and I wonder which it is, but even if I were to answer for myself I would wonder whether I speak the truth or speak what I wish to be the truth.
And this is where I should be able to just sit and listen to You or observe the opportunities You place before me as where you either see me fit or see I need growth. I should be. But my heart is so numb that I notice these things and don’t think anything of it. I scarcely look at all these things anymore and say “Lord, thank You for letting me know what you see in me, growth and need for growth alike.” And that’s the part I hate.
So it seems that the hate for this condition of mine is warranted or righteous. Yet this is where I begin to wonder whether I’m doing enough about it– am I allowing it to sit and fester like dirt in an open wound, or am I at least attempting to pour the rubbing alcohol over it despite the searing pain of its cleaning? Do I bite my lip? Do I cry out? Do I mutter or yell out curses from the same lips that claim to praise You? I hate that any one of these could be answered with a ‘yes.’ How does fresh water come from a salt water spring? it can’t. So I often wonder whether or not my praises are then valid and pure enough to be worthy of You.
Truth is, I don’t know how I’m doing. It doesn’t seem to help that every door is getting slammed shut in my face and all I can think is either what am I doing wrong? or why am I not enough? It makes it hard to believe that You’re really there or that you care– but believe I still do.
I guess sometimes all You’re asking of me is to survive. As long as you allow it, my life simply means that your grace, your patience, and your kindness hasn’t run out on me.
So I guess I should be asking myself why am I letting my own grace and patience and kindness run out on myself? any of that which is mine came from You, and yours never runs out– why do I deplete my own supply when you’re right there?
Lord, I know you’re not a feeling, but I just don’t want to feel numb to you.
lord, I know it won’t always be easy to believe in you or your promises, but help my unbelief.
Lord, I know that by my own power my imposter syndrome is right, but it’s Yours I want to draw from and rely on. By your scars I am healed. By your blood, I am purified.
so help me God, please.
A Sonnet Crown on Life’s Evolving Story
–
In the book of life a story weaves,
a love story unfolds with each passing day
in tender moments hearts find their reprieve,
as life’s current carry us on our way.
On our way, we journey through the years,
through highs and lows, through laughter and tears,
in each chapter, joy and sorrow nears,
as life’s unfolding tale becomes more clear.
It becomes more clear with every twist and turn,
The plot thickens, the characters evolve,
in every triumph, in every lesson that was learned,
we find the essence of the human resolve.
Human resolve to love and to forgive,
to embrace each moment and to truly live.
This week as it comes to a close this Saturday evening I was able to get through 3 blog post. Again just reiterating my intent in March is to edit all 15 blogs I do and maybe add more to them or even add a few more blogs to go along.
I have become in tune with the parenting side when to comes to dealing with Early childhood tech practices, and how important it is in todays ever growing society. It is very near a dear to me not only because that is what am I exposed to daily with my own children, but the subject does pose great projections with tech advancement, because children are literally our future. The earlier they are exposed to these tools the more advanced society becomes , and this is something history has shown repeatedly.
These there blogs this week shared the them of early introduction to tech and how parents are great influences to this in their young scholars. As a parent I feel I relate to not only a vast majority of other parents, but also I am very close enough in age to still understand and use these new tech practices as they emerge.
This next week I will work on the remaining 8 blogs. That is about 2 blogs between Monday and Friday. I can then do a rough edits of them between Sunday and Monday and next week I will speak about how the edits went when I do my blog.
Other than that there isn’t really much else to tell. I feel as though I am going at a good pace and effort with my work and I have small achievable goals that will soon all start coming together,.
In the fields of gold where summer’s warmth resides
A sunflower stands proud gazing towards the sun
Its petals spread wide like golden tides,
A testament to nature’s art so finely spun.
Oh, sunflower fair in brilliance you gleam,
A light of joy in the fields of green
With every gentle sway you dance and dream
A sight so splendid that you can’t unsee.
Amidst the whispers of the gentle breeze,
Your beauty flourishes as a sight to admire
In your radiant presence the soul finds ease
As you stand tall in nature’s choir.
Oh, how you captivate with every bloom,
My most favorite flower in sunlight’s room.
I feel super comfortable in the direction I am going with my thesis. I feel I am truly turning it into something that I not only care a lot about but also something very personal to me. I am able to explore and truly understand things I am genuinely interested in.
Tonight in class it was very helpful receiving positive feedback as I was a little nervous about how it might sound out loud instead of just me reading it myself, and I might say it really gave me a boost on how I was feeling about completing this thesis.
I am genuinely excited to see the completion of my project as it comes to life. I am excited more on how I will be able to present this in different forms to bring it all together.
I do question the next two weeks as I want to complete all of my blogs so I am able to edit them and it is very possible. That is a blog a day until we meet again, then I can take March to really begin to edit and design this project on their different platforms. I do have the vision, but I am excited to see it all come together.
Last Monday’s class was great. I am looking forward to reading another vignette where I can receive feedback again that is very insightful in regards to helping me shape my vignettes into something even more powerful. I’m not going to lie in the beginning the rough drafts were rough. Mainly because I wanted to just push out all the ideas I had while they were fresh in my brain. It’s not that I was half-asking it but I wanted to get at least the foundation done in order to go back and then revise and edit the vignettes into the kind of stories that they should be.
I do plan on writing at least 3-5 more vignettes but at the moment it’s also nice to share what I have and get feedback that is helping me be more aware of what I need to do.
Imitation to “We Real Cool” by Gwendolyn Brooks
Two under Departure’s Terminal.
We share sighs. We
Misty eyes. We
Clasp hands. We
Heartlands. We
Kiss soft. We
Moments aloft. We
Board planes. We
Heart pains. We
Let go.
