The Beginnings of My Thesis Project:

Hi all! For those who know me, whether through past classes or personal conversations, you’ve likely heard me talk about my sister and the tragic car accident that changed our lives. It’s a story I’ve carried with me for a long time, and now, in the midst of my thesis project, I find myself ready to explore it in a way I never have before. The decision to write a memoir about my sister wasn’t an easy one, but the process of discovering this idea felt both inevitable and necessary.

The Seeds of the Memoir

When I first began thinking about potential thesis topics, my first focus was on areas directly related to my professional background, particularly themes tied to my current role in being a paralegal. Yet, there was this persistent pull toward something more personal—something raw, intimate, and transformative. As I reflected on my experiences, I realized that my sister’s story, and by extension, my own, deserved to be told.

This was not just a moment of personal reckoning, but a turning point in my creative process. I needed to dig deep, beyond the academic and professional, to something that I felt was at the core of my being. The accident that almost took my sister’s life forever shaped the person I am today. But, more importantly, it defined the way I understood loss, resilience, and healing.

Entering the Discovery Phase

Once I made the decision to write about my sister, the real work began—rediscovering memories, feelings, and events I hadn’t fully processed before. I knew that writing a memoir would mean revisiting painful moments, but I also knew that it would offer a chance for reflection and, perhaps, closure.

During this discovery phase, I started by mapping out the key moments in our relationship—before and after the accident. The process was, and still is, emotionally taxing. It’s not just about writing a story; it’s about reliving one. There are times when I sit in my kitchen table and stare at a blank page, unsure of how to give life to something so personal. But then, memories flood back—her smile, her laugh, her essence. That’s when I realize this memoir is not just about the accident. It’s about her life, and my journey through grief and healing.

The Power of Reflection

While reflecting on the events leading up to the accident is difficult, there’s also a deep sense of purpose in this process. I am learning not only about my sister but also about myself. How did her life and loss shape my decisions? How did it guide my career and the paths I’ve chosen since?

This reflection has brought up many questions, and in some ways, I don’t yet have all the answers. But I’ve come to understand that this thesis will be a living project. As I write, I continue to discover new layers of meaning in the memories I once buried or tried to forget. And through that discovery, I’m finding a voice that feels authentic and true to our shared experience.

Moving Forward

I’m still in the early stages of writing this memoir, and the path ahead feels daunting. But there’s a certain freedom in embracing this challenge. Writing about my sister’s life is both an act of love and remembrance. It’s also an exploration of how we survive loss and the ways in which our stories, painful as they are, need to be told.

This thesis project will likely evolve as I go deeper into the writing process. I expect there will be moments of frustration, of deep sadness, but also moments of joy as I rediscover parts of my sister that I thought had faded with time. Writing this memoir is not only a way of honoring the impact she has had on my life, but also a chance for me to reflect and grow. It’s about preserving the connection we still share and celebrating her life in a way that gives voice to both our journeys.